Tampilkan postingan dengan label thoughts. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label thoughts. Tampilkan semua postingan

Minggu, 01 Januari 2012

2012


Hello there 2012.
The whole world is celebrating the biggest annual change today, which is the change of the year. Filled with fireworks flying everywhere. Not to mention last night felt like Bandung was in war. Sounds of fireworks remind me of bombs falling down from planes, just like in the movies. But that's just a somber outtake towards what should be a festive night. None the less, I celebrated with several friends and it was fun. Even though the barbecue we intended failed miserably, the firework display compensated. 

The change of the year definitely got me thinking. When I was on my way back from shopping for groceries on December 31st 2011, under the heat of the blazing sun I kept on thinking in my head; what is time? Time is something precious, isn't it? Time is something we can't get away from, right? Well, it might be all of that and I don't even know the answer. But what I know is that time is not what appears to be. Seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, days, months, years, decades, millenniums, era; they're not time. They are a thing that we create to measure time, to categorize time, to give time a form, but it's not the true form of time. And us growing old, the change that happened to the things around us, that's just the outcome of time and proof that time exist. But time itself, does it have a form? What is time? Why must we celebrate the change of a year when a change of each second is as significant? 

At that moment I was reminded of my lecturer who actually started the discussion about time with me and several friends. I wasn't sure what he talked about then, but now I feel like I'm closer to an understanding even though I'm still far from the answer I seek. Dare say, I think time is something closer to us than we think. Time is every living thing in this planet. Time is every thing in this universe. Time is our whole existence. We can't touch time, because time is something within. It's like something attached to our souls, I guess. I don't know what I'm rambling about, I just want to let something out about time. As my time is slowly and surely will come to an end sooner or later. And because of that, I guess it's time for me to appreciate 'time' even more than before. In other words, appreciate myself and all that is around me. I can't say that this year will have something better for me than the previous one, but I can promise myself this: that I am a better person this year no, I am content to be who I am now, because the current me is better than the previous me. Who knows about future me, she's unknown. Just like Master Oogway said in Kung Fu Panda, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present". Happy New Year 2012 everybody. Be content.

Sabtu, 05 Februari 2011

Love ?

"It's never ribet (complicated) when it comes to true love and not a lover but a friend" - Dini, my sister.
Yes, she said that after I said "I don't wanna know anything about having relationships (love), so complicated". Why say that? Maybe it has something to do with the fact I've never actually felt 'love' towards the opposite sex. Well, I've had crushes and by some, my heart has already been crushed.  I guess it takes a long time to mend that heart and that results the numbing feeling towards the word 'love'. 

Hmmm. February. Valentine's just around the corner. Let's talk about love? No? 
Well, I personally have no experience in one. All I can say that through out my childhood up to this day, boys only see me as a guy friend who appears to be a girl. Well, I don't expect them to treat me like they usually treat girls and all, I just don't want them to forget, that I am a girl inside too.
When they smile widely with others, I try to smile with them. When they're sad because of something, I cried with them. But when they're heartbroken, I just kept silent. I feel like whatever I say in that subject is nothing. 

Maybe someday I'll find this 'love' people seem to crave. For now, I'm just gonna keep things to myself, and just keep being silent.

Cheers for being a loner and happy about it!